c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
2) You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b) your blood-test results
c) five tequila slammers
3) You time your orgasm so that:
a) your partner climaxes first
b) you both climax simultaneously
c) you don't miss SportsCenter
4) Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a) healthy, creative love play
b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about
5) Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
a) the best part of the experience
b) the SECOND best part of the experience
c) the downside of make-up sex
6) Your girlfriend say she's gained 5 pounds in the past month. You tell her that it is:
a) no concern of yours
b) not a problem -- she can join your gym
c) a conservative estimate
7) You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
a) a myth
b) an oxymoron
c) a moron
8) Foreplay is to sex as:
a) appetizer is to entree
b) primer is to paint
c) a line is to an amusement park ride
9) Which of the following are you most likely to say at the end of a relationship?
a) "I hope we can still be friends."
b) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
c) "Welcome to Dumpsville; population, YOU."
10) A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
a) probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that part of
b) is uptight and a waste of time
c) probably shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
If you answered "a" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man. If you answered "b" more than 7 times, check into therapy -- you're more than a little confused. If you answered "c" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN!!!!!"